Public Opinion

I recently was struck by a very public conversation I have been hearing about. It is is in regards to a million and one details and has strings stretching farther than I could imagine, no matter how creative I think I am.

The most critical part of the conversation to me now is the publicity of it all. Both sides of the coin have always been very private groups. Never divulging too much more than they need. For this conversation, they have been hyper public. They have been leveraging public opinion against each other. Making points. Swaying intermediaries and everyone of course weighs in on the whole thing because everyone has an opinion and everyone else needs to give theirs too.

No one is stopping to ask if this conversation needs to be public. I have been more and more adopting a policy of dealing with things in the moment. This is practically a good policy for me right now, not necessarily permanent. If someone goes off the rails, it is better for me to wave a flag in the moment than wait. I know if I wait, I will never speak up.

I would never bring one of these situations up in a public forum to be discussed in the public court of opinion. I would betray my counterparts in these moments if I take private matters public. Private matters should be private for a reason. Nobody is better when I force a private matter into the public when it obviously belongs private. Personally, I would be immensely hurt if someone made my private matters public, hence I would never do that. What good can come from forcing private matters into the public? Do we really need so many extra opinions in conversations designed for private offices?

How do you deal with things? Do private matters come up too often in public? Do you deal with issues in a timely fashion? Does your reaction scale to the action?

Privately,

–JT

Conflict

I have, previously, never dealt with conflict well. I would get hurt. Emotional. And finish it all with a nice dose of justified anger, I highly doubt those two words actually ever go together. Since I have had time to reflect and analyze this cycle inside myself, I have been able to see it. I have been able to sift it, and I have been able to realize and catch these triggers before they can hurt other people. 

I have been intrigued by this cycle I have. Most of the time I am a peaceful person when it comes to being hurt. However, I am peaceful because I came to learn that I take on the victim's mentality. The mentality that says, "Everyone is going to hurt me and I just need to buck up and take it like a man." Unfortunately, I do not have a clear picture of what it means to take it like a man. What it means to deal with inner anger, madness, and sadness well. I have movies where there is an archetype I relate to. I have fictional books where I can see a relatable character I cling to. I do not have a real life, clear as day, human being I have been able to see walk through this well (that I know of.) 

These facts are not a cause an effect. These are two tandem realities that work together to cause issues. The connecting cord between these ideas is whether or not we talk about it as we walk through situations where we are upset. Whether or not we share how we are actually doing. Whether or not we are willing to share our lives with people around us (not to say we have to share our story with all people, healthy and unhealthy). 

Sharing our story is past tense to telling the story I lived last week, last month, last year, or last decade. 

Sharing my story is also present tense in telling the story I am living today.

Who are you sharing your present tense story with? Who are you sharing your past tense story with?