This is the second amendment to my life, not the second amendment of the constitution. Go bear arms or don’t go bear arms. The choice is yours.

I am a little at a loss, as to what to share. I had a great talk with my counselor. He is a great guy with whom I think I click. I am glad to get to meet with him. Talking with him is great because the more we talk the more I find out that we have similarities. He also has extra insight into me because we can track each other and follow where we are at. This las week we brought out that I am afraid.

I find information, gain information, analyze information, and make decisions based on this information. This is a freeing revelation as I felt bound by the idea that I might be more inclined towards another bent. I felt restricted to be put into a different box besides this one. There are more dimensions to my personality than this one bent. However, I believe based on our conversation that this is a heavier emphasis than I thought it was. The point where fear plays into this is, I make decisions based on my fear. I overanalyze to avoid my worst fears.

Fear of failure.

Fear of the unknown.

Fear of pain.

Fear.

FEAR.

FEAR!

My fear is knocking me off course. I substitute my fear for faith. I use my fear to fuel my ability to analyze and dissect my life so that I can control the outcome. I am still at a point where I am leaving the implications of what it means to use my faith to fuel my analytics up for discussion as I do not have a solid grasp as to what this means. I am open to interpretation and commentary. However, I will be investigating this more.

What is knocking you off course? Fear? Anger? Sadness?

Faithfully,

–JT