Every day I wake up in the same set of skin and bones I was born with. I can change and develop who I am through work, both intentional and unintentional. But at the end of the day, I am always me.

One of the the many jobs I have is to appreciate me for who I am. In a reasonable way, be comfortable in the set of skin and bones I have. Accepting me for who I am, not over accentuating my flaws and strengths.

I know I can find the right point of appreciating myself for who I am. Not too confident and not too self-deprecating.

Not too many puns.

Not too nerdy.

Not too quiet.

Not too self conscience.

When I reach that point, what happens next?

I know I will reach the island of Perfect Self Acceptance. But what happens when it starts raining on my island? Or worse, I run out of food.

When I get to my Island, am I ready for the negative comment I hear, meant as a friendly joke? Am I prepared to let it roll off my back?

I know proper self acceptance is possible, but am I preparing for the next step of keeping healthy perspective on myself despite (un)expected negative circumstances?

What does your island of self acceptance look like? Are you ready for what it takes to maintain life on your island in the face of (un)expected negative circumstances?

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I was listening to an episode of one of my favorite podcasts recently. The episode is mostly about self confidence and related aspects of self confidence; but, at one point one of the hosts, Casey, mentioned a teacher he had that gave him a rather offensive nickname in kindergarten. His story led me to think about my growing up years attending the private elementary school I went to, the friends I had there, and my major successes and struggles while I was there. The greatest struggle was with other students in regards to my weight, I was a chubby kid. This ultimately lead me to even reflect on how I would be picked on an bullied. Today, my weight is not as much of my identity as it once was; however, I do still struggle with my self image in regards to my physique.

The part of these memories I hung on, as I was listening to this episode, is how kids would pick on me and exclude me, I was as quirky then as I am now. I was really focusing on how I would so strive for the approval of others that I would deprecate myself in order to get them to like me and befriend me. I would do anything I could so that they would like me. I look at myself today and see how I am willing to let others run right over me and keep my mouth shut when I shouldn’t. I was never one of the popular kids and I am not looking to change that today. Today I am only looking to stand up for myself. Not lay down every time I disagree with someone.

I think this mentality is going to be a struggle to maintain because for so long I’ve ignored it. However, I do look forward to the positive changes it will bring as I move forward in life. I am not looking to be belligerent in the way I change how I act and how I interact with others. I am only looking to give my opinion when I have one.

Remembering,

–JT