Milestone

Golly gee, nothing like a milestone to get me to stop and look back. And really, not only glance back, but truly, look back at the sea of sand from the beach parking lot. Look back in the sense of I am sifting the sand looking for thegold shavings I lost.

I have been looking back at how I got to where I am asking questions. Questions about everything. Everything has been up for questioning. Not because everything can go. But because the treasures is not going to make itself apparent. The treasures I have forgotten are not simply missing, they are lost and not easily found.

Everything can be questioned because everything has value and sometimes the only way to get the most value from life’s things is to question all the things.

When I set something off limits to questioning, I tell myself it has no more value. When I stop questioning things, I stop contributing value to them.

How are you contributing value to things in your life? What are you devaluing by not questioning? What can you add value to by questioning?

Questioning,

–JT

Napkin

I was out with friends and needed to jot down a quick of note. I had a pen at hand. I snagged the clean napkin at hand and began trying to scribble on the napkin. It was awful. One of the worst writing experiences of my life. The napkin kept catching and ripping. Genuinely, not designed for writing. I was able to get the note onto what was left of the napkin when I was done with it. 

View fullsize

The paper napkin was the wrong platform. It was the wrong medium. It is cheap. It is expendable. It is designed to be thrown away at the end of its use. It really was not up for the job and I had to work harder than I should have in order to get my note onto it. The napkin sparked in me a series of thoughts and questions. I started to wonder how often I tried to use napkins when I needed paper or phone? How often does my creative solution actually hinder me more than enhance my work?

Then again, what does my solution say about the problem to begin with? A disposable napkin to write something down? What is the point? The napkin barely holds my writing. It is not meant to be kept, it is meant to be thrown away. I put my note, mildly important note, onto something destined for the recycle bin. It is not meant to be used this way. It is not a medium for long form writing, short form writing, notes, or scribbles. It is not even a medium worth keeping around. It is the medium for wiping the crumbs from my mouth or grease from my fingers.

As I am trying to focus on the extraordinary and let go of the mundane am I actually hindering my ability to grow because I am trying to be too creative? Where can I skip the napkins? Where am I scribbling on trash? Where do I need to replace my tools?

Truly, I grabbed the closest thing I saw and started using it. I did not even question as to whether or not I should pull out my phone and scribble my note into my phone. I chose the wrong tool and stuck with it. How often do I do that? Or even worse, my methods were sub par. How often do I use mediocre methods and not question them because I am essentially sticking my head in the sand.

Unfortunately, the answer to all of these questions is, ‘Too often.’ 

Where are your choices causing you to fall short of success? Where are the tools you are using hindering you? What other tools are out there to enhance what you are doing?

Retooling,

–JT

Asking About Now

I went to see my counselor again. This time I was much more open-ended in my perspective and expectations. I had a small discussion of what I wanted to talk to him about, slightly prepared conversation about me overreacting at times. That was a good conversation and a portion of what we had to talk about. 

The majority of our conversation revolved around asking questions. Asking many questions. Good questions. The best questions really. Questions about where you are at. Right now. Not asking about where you are going or the future or what comes next. Asking questions about where you are at right now and allowing you to work through the implications of where you are at. That then will dictate where you go. Usually, this ends up being somewhat similar to where I think people should go. However, it is not for me to decide where people should go. What I must do is listen intently and ask questions about people and where they are at based on what they are telling me. I do love listening. 

Based on what I understand about the conversation, I get to listen, analyze, and ask. The hard part for me is going to be not asking and leading. Simply crafting masterful questions about where people are at in the moment and allowing them to lead the conversation to the next step to where we are going. Ultimately, I am listening to them as they are brought to a place where healing and wholeness is possible.

When was the last time someone asked you about how you’re doing?

When will be the next time you talk to someone about how you’re doing?

How well do you do at asking someone about where they are at, not where you think they should go?

Listening,

–JT

Sleepless in Tacoma

I love asking questions. I love it even more when I find answers to my questions. I love the answers the most when I have been wrestling with the questions for a while, especially a questions like, “Why do I feel compelled to go to Tacoma to spend time with my friends? What waits for me there?” 

[Aside: Obviously I want to see my friends. I love these people. I just felt more compelled and forced to go than just the usual, “Golly gee, I’m super excited to go.”]

I’m excited to say, I have a clue to the answer tied up in a story from these past days spent in Tacoma. Of the two friends I have in the area, one of them is, putting it mildly, quite a bit more forward and blunt. They are both pretty honest and real people in general, one of them will tell you how it is in a very direct sense. Suffice to say, he calls a spade a spade and makes no bones about it. He and I have been spending quite a bit of time together. I love spending time with this guy.

The flip side of this conversation, I am not an extremely forward person. I actually have a bit of fear and anxiety about sharing my opinion or bringing up conflict with people. For example, the other night I was talking with some friends and we were trying to decide what to eat. I suggested a place because we were all so indecisive. But I was afraid of rejection, offending someone, and anxious about it being a bad choice. I almost didn’t say anything. 

Spending time with my friend is reminding me that I need to voice my opinion. I need to voice my commentary. In situations where the outcome has no bearing on anything, I need to voice my opinion if I have one (in these types of situations I usually don’t have even an inkling of an opinion and I’m not about to start making some up to be contrarian.) In situations where the group is going drastically off course, I need to voice my opinion. I need to have a voice. Having a voice is good. However, it is a high powered assault rifle and it is going to be a little messy moving forward and figuring out when and where it is actually good to open my voice.

How do you feel about having a voice? What are you doing to use your voice for the good of others and your community?

Cautiously,

–JT