Emo Actions

My feelings and my actions are far too often too closely tied together. I will pull a knee-jerk reaction to something because I do not feel like it is a good idea whereas once I reassess and logically process through it, it totally makes sense.

Then again in an argument, I will get too heated because my emotions are ramping up and actions are tied up in my emotions. I will overreact at times when I do not need to and escalating when I should be slowing down and processing.

I will almost be listening to myself and cannot hardly believe I am so heated so quickly. Or I will ramp myself up while stomping about and then it explodes and I do not even know why.

All I should be doing is breathing.

Pacing myself.

Focusing.

Relaxing.

And logically processing my feelings through rather than emotionally processing my feelings.

How do you do with slowing down when your emotions are running high and logically processing what your feeling? How do you do at finding the source of your emotions? What can you do to better mediate the connection (or disconnection) between your emotions and your actions?

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Favorite Part of a Song

I was singing along to one of my favorite songs and towards the end of the song, the lead singer sings the chorus and another singer sings the bridge over top of them. It is truly a goosebump sort of moment.

All the little hairs on the back of my neck stand up. The hairs on my arms stand up. I get a slight shiver in my spine and my smile spreads a mile wide.

I know it is coming and still. I cannot stop it from happening when I listen to my favorite songs.

So good.

Whether it is our favorite song, favorite movie, play, musical, book, painting, tv show, or time of year, we all have these little items we love. However, what stops us from making more of these moments?

What stops us from planning these moments out and being ready for them all the time so we do not have to wait for them, instead we can experience them more often. We can plan these moments out for others to add value to their lives.

We can enrich the lives of friends and family by sharing our goosebump moments and share enrich our own lives by asking others about their goosebump moments and we can see something new or old in a way we have never seen it before.

Who are you sharing your goosebump moments with? Who are you asking about their goosebump moments? How are you seeking out new goosebump moments?

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Favorite Things

I listen to several podcasts. Not a lot by comparison for sure. But several none the less. One podcast in particular, I especially enjoy. Both of the guys on the podcast are good guys with big hearts, sharp minds, and generally concerned with the well being of other people. Over time I have grown attached to this podcast primarily because I relate to the guys so well. I would have to say, over time, it has become probably one of my favorite podcasts.

Recently shared one episode of one of my favorite podcast with my wife. She did not know it was one of my favorite podcasts and she did not enjoy it. It was obvious she was not enjoying the podcast because she teased it and joke about it. She was not harsh, she was popping a few jokes at the podcast, no different than we have ever done before on together. However, this time, I was hurt. 

My podcasts are to some extent my friends. They talk, they don’t expect me to talk, and I can glean information from them, about as perfectly one sided as it gets. It hurts though to have one of my favorite podcasts tarnished by knowing she is not into it. And truly, it is not a podcast even remotely in the genre of podcasts she might be into. 

The hard part is feeling like I have shared a part of who I am with someone else and they did not really appreciate it. Everyone does not have to like what I like, but we should be respectful in how we tell each other we do not like each other’s entertainment.

The truth of the matter is, I was being too sensitive. I am not trying to say there is something wrong with being sensitive. I am saying there are some issues not worth being as sensitive about as I was being. No matter what my personal connection is to this podcast, there is no reason to be hurt or emotionally offended over my wife not liking it. There is reason to keep sharing and offering parts of myself with others.

I have gained far more in sharing my thoughts and feelings with people or sharing hobbies and ideas I consider to be a part of myself. I have been hurt and lost some in the process of sharing with others. However, this is a situation where I know the good far outweighs the bad previously, now, and moving forward.

What do you have to share with other people? When was the last time you shared part of yourself with someone else? When will you share part of yourself with someone next?

Sharing,

–JT

Feeling with Others

I recently watched this video on empathy illustrated by the Royal Society of Arts (RSA) using material by Brené Brown from one of her TED Talks. The talk is very much like many other TED Talks and perhaps you’ve already seen this specific talk. It is a good talk, I enjoy it, and I have seen it many times. The video by the RSA, as they are more popularly known, is an excellent revitalization of her talk. The talk is as true today as it was they day she originally delivered it, though her dates and references might be dated. However, the core of the content still rings true. 

The core of illustration by the RSA also rings true. It is a visualization of Brené’s words. It resonates with me. It reminds me of when I hurt and what it means to bring comfort to someone else. The illustration reminds me to say, “Me too.” before I even consider saying, “At least…” The video also reminds me to tell my story. To tell people about who I am and where I have been. To be willing to be painfully authentic even though I am scared or worried about the opinions of others. 

The RSA’s illustration reminds me to listen to other people in such a way that I am saying, “I hear you and I am with you!” without ever actually saying a word. 

Maybe you are the one that is hurting right now. Maybe you are the one who is doing great.

Either way, are you telling your story? Do people know how you are doing right now? As you hurt, you have to tell your story. You have to tell people where you are at. Right now. You have to tell someone. Otherwise you are still alone and no one even has the opportunity to say, “Me too.” 

No one has the opportunity to join you in your pain.

There is the other side of the coin as well. You are doing well, right now, and you do not hurt. To you I would ask, “When someone opens up and tells you their story, do you say, ‘At least…’ or ‘Me too.’? Would anyone you are listening to ever say you are actually listening?

–JT