Revolution Eyes

Other peoples’ issues are easy to fix. Formulaic really. I can answer them and help decipher the next step almost too easily. Actually, too easily indeed. I can not, however, deal with my own issues very well.

I generally feel like I look at my own issues and see nothing but haze, fog, and confusion. It is almost as if I am at the bottom of the Pacific Ocean and I cannot see my own hand in front of my face. Truly, unnerving to say the least.

I recently unearthed a tool to use for these situations. Detatchment. Not a way to live life. Simply, a way to stop, take a breath, reassess, and then move forward. I have been using this tool more and more. I struggle with getting too connected. I am too willing to get emotionally tied up in the outcome of my work. I will get tied up not only mentally but more dangerously emotionally. I will lock into the outcome as if my life depended on it.

99.99 % of the time…
…my life does not depend on the outcome.

All it takes is a breath. Really, almost a few moments. Count to five then look at my problem again through new eyes. Revolution–eyesed. [#pungroan].

After taking these moments, I am able to comprehend my issue, step away from the problem, assess the facts (as best as I can see them. I am still only one person.) And I can move forward with confidence and clarity as to what will make the best outcome. Most importantly, I can talk myself down off a ledge and not make an angry mistake.

What happens when you get too tied into the outcome of your problems? How can you better engage your problems? How can you better interface with people who are causing you problems?

Detatching,

–JT

Favorite Things

I listen to several podcasts. Not a lot by comparison for sure. But several none the less. One podcast in particular, I especially enjoy. Both of the guys on the podcast are good guys with big hearts, sharp minds, and generally concerned with the well being of other people. Over time I have grown attached to this podcast primarily because I relate to the guys so well. I would have to say, over time, it has become probably one of my favorite podcasts.

Recently shared one episode of one of my favorite podcast with my wife. She did not know it was one of my favorite podcasts and she did not enjoy it. It was obvious she was not enjoying the podcast because she teased it and joke about it. She was not harsh, she was popping a few jokes at the podcast, no different than we have ever done before on together. However, this time, I was hurt. 

My podcasts are to some extent my friends. They talk, they don’t expect me to talk, and I can glean information from them, about as perfectly one sided as it gets. It hurts though to have one of my favorite podcasts tarnished by knowing she is not into it. And truly, it is not a podcast even remotely in the genre of podcasts she might be into. 

The hard part is feeling like I have shared a part of who I am with someone else and they did not really appreciate it. Everyone does not have to like what I like, but we should be respectful in how we tell each other we do not like each other’s entertainment.

The truth of the matter is, I was being too sensitive. I am not trying to say there is something wrong with being sensitive. I am saying there are some issues not worth being as sensitive about as I was being. No matter what my personal connection is to this podcast, there is no reason to be hurt or emotionally offended over my wife not liking it. There is reason to keep sharing and offering parts of myself with others.

I have gained far more in sharing my thoughts and feelings with people or sharing hobbies and ideas I consider to be a part of myself. I have been hurt and lost some in the process of sharing with others. However, this is a situation where I know the good far outweighs the bad previously, now, and moving forward.

What do you have to share with other people? When was the last time you shared part of yourself with someone else? When will you share part of yourself with someone next?

Sharing,

–JT