Outsourcing

My mental health is my own to manage and no one else. I cannot outsource my mental health to anyone else. Given that I have no known chemical imbalances and do not suffer from any major life traumas, I am solely responsible for my own mental health.

Seeing a counselor helped me sort through some of my own thoughts, questions, perspectives, and ideas. But truly, my mental health was still my own to work through. I could not work on anything I was not willing to engage. I could not grow in any area I was not willing to assess and discuss and I could not improve if first I was not willing to admit an ability to be wrong in an area.

Even still, at no point in my journey with a mental health professional was she responsible for my mental health. If I went off the deep end, nobody was going to be calling her. If I became a superstar, nobody was going to be questioning her about my accomplishments.

My friends are not responsible for my mental health. They can help me make good decisions and focus on the right priorities through their suggestions, pointed ideas, and willingness to have hard conversations with me.

Nobody was ever going to be calling them if I went off the deep end to get answers or calling them to credit them with a super success if I suddenly was achieving greater than I was ever achieving before.s

My mental health is my responsibility and I must focus on it and be conscious of it and be working on my mental health. It will not naturally improve on its own. It will always be improving or deteriorating. I must work to make sure I am involved in where it is going and not let it be influenced by unintentional factors.

I cannot outsource my mental healthcare.

You can outsource you car maintenance, housework, and even your meal planning. But you cannot outsource your mental healthcare.

How are you doing at self care? Are you paying attention to your mental state? Have you been generally grumpy lately? What emotion are you putting out to your friends and family? How are you doing at interacting with other people? Are your social skills up to the par they should be at? How is your mental health? What friend can help you assess your mental health?

Because you read this post, you should like and share my page on Facebook, Subscribe, or support me on Patreon

Unmistakeably

I hate facing down my mistakes. I recognize that I make mistakes, but I hate facing them. I hate talking about them. I hate looking at them, thinking about them, or event mentioning a specific.

I cannot stand when other people suffer because of my mistakes. I loath the moments when other people have to clean up after me. I almost convulse thinking of the times when people have seen me at my lowest moments.

Being so repulsed by my mistakes has led to me not owning my own mistakes when someone else finds my mistakes or admitting my mistakes before someone else finds them. I try to minimize, explain, and transfer responsibility.

None of which is any good for anyone.

All of it waste my time and the time of others.

I am going to do better at finding and taking full responsibility of my mistakes.

How are you at finding your mistakes? How do you do at taking responsibility for your mistakes?

Unmistakably,

–JT

Love the post? Please share it on Facebook or support me on Patreon

Ideas

Ideas come to me pretty regularly. Some of them pretty good and others…not so good. I love new ideas. They bring me life, energy, and I really enjoy coming up with them. Honestly, coming up with more and more ideas is probably something I could do for hours every day and never think twice about it. Getting to dream and picture a new idea or future or opportunity is second nature to me. I have little investment as to whether or not they are even good ideas. Most of the time, I want to come up with ideas and nothing more.

View fullsize

The rub comes in when I have to go beyond the idea. When I have to carry out the idea. At first it is not so bad. Nothing wrong with getting an idea started. It is good and healthy to get an idea started. Everyone appreciates a new idea. Early on, the new idea is getting going and changing and developing so much. The idea is morphing as it emerges from the cocoon, a beautiful butterfly. 

Emergent, the the butterfly will take off and start flying. Though, it is still dependent on me. I am the brains of the butterfly and I have to work to fly. Flap down and flap up.

Then again, I have to flap down and flap up.

Over and over again.

Flap down.

Flap up.

Flap

Down

Flap 

Up

I do not have the patience anymore. By now my idea is less of a butterfly and more of a moth. Grey. Disgusting. Fluttering around the light on my porch in the middle of summer. 

My idea is stale and now I am struggling even to show up for my idea. 

Flap down, flap up.

My ideas are great until I have to bring them to fruition. However, what kind of world would it be if I gave up on my ideas? I may have been great at coming up with them, but what is the point if I never do anything with them? My part is coming up with ideas but does that release me from fruition? Do I no longer have to take part in the execution?

How are you involved in new ideas and projects? What is your part of the project process? What kind of world would it be if you gave up on your part of ideation process? What would your life be like if you never fulfilled your part of the idea?

Carrying on,

–JT