And just like that, Brendan Iribe, Kevin Systrom, Mike Krieger, and Jan Koum. They all left. Facebook lost them to their own ambitions.

Who knows who will really come out on top. Truly, all four of them could colossally fail, be an absolute success, or most likely be some mix there in-between.

No matter what, Facebook is leaking founders.

They are leaking starters

They are leaking innovators

They are leaking leaders.

It is well above my pay grade to guess the nuanced reasons as to why they are leaving. But the reality of it is, they are leaving. Much like your body will reject a cold, flu, or stomach bug. These people are leaving. Again, I do not know why, but the body of Facebook could continue as it was and keep these people a part of Facebook and so they left.

Similarly, when you are leading, when you are a part of a group, when you are doing the work that matters. Pay attention to the people around you. You will be attracting people like you and people unlike you will not stay around. When people do not resonate with you or engage with you, stop and assess what the difference was.

When someone does not stay around, stop and assess a few things in yourself, your group, and your organization/family:

What did I not resonate with them about? What is so different between us? What is so similar between us? What quality would they add to us? What can we add to them? How can we help them? How could they help us? What would I want them to add to the team? What should change about the team so someone like them can connect in the future?

These are a few ideas. You, your team, and your group is not for everyone but you should be intentional about who your group is trying to attract.

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I was cruising Twitter recently and I saw one of the “internet famous” people I follow make a comment to someone else to “F… off”. This, being someone I respect, I looked into the conversation. Knowing some of the details and life experiences of the famous person. I understood why they felt the way they did. However, I was deeply saddened to see what they had done.

I was sad to see them treat someone else like this online.

I was also saddened because he “poured water on his gremlin.”

They amplified the message of the gremlin who was attacking their point of view and their stance. Any time we interact with people who are bringing a contrary drive-by commentary from the other side of a keyboard. We are “getting our gremlins wet.”

[If you are not familiar with the movie, you might consider seeing it (IMDB | Wikipedia); in short, when you get a gremlin wet, it spawns other gremlins.]

When we reply to our gremlins, we are inciting other people to interact with the message of our gremlin. We are inviting other people to see what they are saying. Especially when it is not a message we endorse, we are amplifying their message. When we interact with them, we are making them stronger.

Truly, gremlins have one goal.

Yell louder.

When we interact with them, we amplify their message.

When someone presents a contrary message to what you are presenting, you feel like you just absolutely HAVE to respond, and you are worried they are a gremlin, offer them the opportunity to take the conversation private. Taking the conversation private offers a safe place to have a healthy conversation. Gremlins do not take you up on this offer and they think they can change your opinion 140 characters at a time.

A constructive human being will take you up on your offer to take the conversation private because they generally care about you and want to have a productive dialogue on the topic.

How do you respond when someone attacks you on Facebook? How do you treat people who post about controversial topics online? Are you trying to change people’s opinions and beliefs with strongly worded posts and comments social media?

Staying Dry

–JT

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