However, Although

In my high school English class, we had to write a paper on the famous novel Watership Down by Richard Adams. Being the famously intelligent student I was during my senior year of high school, I did not finish the book. I paid attention to the conversations in class, I started reading the book. But truly did not care or finish the book.

We then were required to write our summary of the book and relate it to something, I cannot remember what I was supposed to relate the book to or even what I wrote about besides writing an eleven page paper when the requirement was five to seven pages.

The teacher that year required we turn in a rough draft of the paper for her to review as her way of assisting us in the paper writing process. So I did. I was up till 11:30, midnight, or later the night before pounding out the rough draft.

The following week we all met with the teacher one-on-one to discuss our drafts. When she and I met, I don’t remember anything else about my discussion with her besides one thing.

She laughed at me.

My teacher laughed at me for starting a paragraph, “However, Although?”.

My goal in doing so was to get her opinion of which word would better start the paragraph. Ultimately, I just picked a word and said nothing else to her the rest of the conversation.

Who do you have influence over? How careful are you with your influence? How much do you measure your words and actions with those you have influence over?

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Good Job

Telling someone they have done a good job is very encouraging. I like telling people they have done a good job. I like being told I have done a good job. I especially like telling someone they have done a good job after they have done a good job.

At this point in time, I am done telling people they have done a good job. I have recently discovered how pointless it is. It is the emptiest compliment I can give someone after they have done a good job. I need to tell them what makes what their work categorically, ‘good.’

Telling a friend they did a good job after they do me a favor or make me a gift, it is an empty compliment, lost in translation. Whereas, telling them they did a good job because of their timeliness in helping with a project or pointing out how their gift has value to me and showing them they did a good job because of a specific aspect, worth more than I can ever imagine. Worth more to me and others, than I could ever imagine.

I want to bring value to the people around me and telling them how they did a good job or what they did that triggers for me a reaction of ‘good job’ takes way more than just saying good job. It takes the effort of telling them what they did that was a good job.

How do you tell people they have done a good job?

Specifically,

–JT

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Choosing Others

I am realizing, more now than ever, that much of the reason I am doing so well is because someone else chose me. 

Someone else chose me to be able to take time to heal. 

Someone else chose me to be able to step away from the busyness.

Someone else chose me above themselves.

I now have two obligations as I have been given this opportunity. I must choose other people that need to have a place to heal and I must continue to heal. My continued healing does not seem unattainable. Intentionally choosing others is going to be more of a habit than a one time deal. 

I am going to have to be intentional about seeing the people who are sitting aside and not speaking. The people who are on the sidelines. Maybe they are “in” and “committed” but they aren’t voicing their opinion. They are just riding along, coasting with everyone else. 

Maybe they are hurt like I was and they need someone to choose them as important enough.

I don’t know their situation. I only know it is just as much my responsibility to choose them now. Now is a time where get to watch and learn how to choose people who have something to say and I need to choose them to be available to be heard. 

Sometimes I’ll have to watch for someone who hasn’t contributed to the conversation in a while who seems disjointed and aloof. It could also look like me spending more time with people who have been marginalized and pushed to the fringe and don’t believe that they should have a voice. 

Either way, I genuinely believe that I will find more healing and growth as I continue to focus on others’ voices as well as my own.

Who around you does not use their voice? What can you do to bring them a voice?

Choosing,

–JT